Because I Said So…..
My *worst* fear came true in the spring of 2012.
Aunnica, you had just turned two. And you learned an incredible new word. “Why?”
The only problem with this newfound love of utilizing your new word– was your CONSTANT and CONTINUOUS use of “why?”
Anytime, and for anything.
Why is this soft?
Why is this brown?
Why is this grape squishy?
All the time, you’d ask why. And, once it ain’t bad. BUT you are determined. Driven. And relentless. I love this about your personality. However, this persistence can be a bit overwhelming from time to time.
Point and Case. The conversation one spring morning mid may:
Why is the sky blue?
Because that is how it reflects light.
Why? Because of all the water.
Why? Because of how God created science.
Why? Because God is creative.
At a loss of how to keep answering the never-ending whys…. I simply responded:
…..because I said so.
End of Conversation.
AND THEN IT HIT. I had vowed to NEVER say “because I said so” as a mom.
My *worst* fear had been realized.
Legit I sat with that revelation for a moment. See, somewhere in my teen years; I had come to “despise” that thought…. “Because I said so.” There had to be a better solution. So, I vowed then, in my all knowing teenage wisdom, that I would NEVER utter those words to my children…….
Here I had broken my “vow.” And I laughed. Deep in my soul laughter.
I’d realized how ridiculous my vow had been, and how harmless that response was— and enjoyed my “failure.”
When your dad and I sat to outline the chapters of this blog of wisdom to you dear daughters, your dad wanted me to include a chapter: How to be the best mother.
Here’s my response:
Best? You can’t be perfect. You can’t be the “best” by human standards. No.
But you know what you can be? Loving. Honest. Real. Open. Forgiving.
That, dear daughters, will make you the best mother.
I was blessed to have an incredible example in your Grandma. She showed me what mattered most. Loving Jesus. Loving my dad. Loving me. I always knew– NO MATTER WHAT. That I was loved. When I graduated as valedictorian– I was loved. BUT Iwas also equally loved when I failed the test. Were there different lessons in each– YES. But, I didn’t have to hide my imperfections; because even IN them…. I knew I was loved beyond measure.
She learned this example from her parents. Geraldine and Roger Culberston. Grandpa ALWAYS said– you can never love me as much as I love you. Ask any of his grand kids– we can all recite this truth without blinking. We knew, ALWAYS, we were loved.
This love. This is what matters most.
The best parenting advice I EVER received came from Dick & Darlene Gruber. Mentors through college— PG said, “Sharon, trust those instincts God gave YOU. In all of time, God chose you and Nate to be Aunnica’s parents. He did that on purpose. Lean into him, and you’ll go far.”
Lean into Jesus. Lean into Love.
“Jesus answered him, “The most important of allthe commandments is this: ‘The Lord Yahweh, our God, is one!’ You are to love the Lord Yahweh, your God, with a passionate heart, from the depths of your soul, with yo
ur every thought, and with all your strength. This is the great and supreme commandment.And the second is this: ‘You must love
your neighbor in the same way you love yourself.’ You will never find a greater commandment than these.”
Mark 12:29-31 TPT
As you know, this verse is one of my all time favorites. There’s a lot in life that won’t go to plan. There will be hardships. Problems. Failures. BUT in it all— Love. You will never regret leading with love. Love God & Love Others.
Dear daughters– don’t do this “because I said so” do this because of the example left for you. Because LOVE matters. You are loved MORE than you know. You’ll never love me as much as I love you– and may this be your legacy dear daughters.